I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you would pick up someone in the library
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
