It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
