apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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