i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize