I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
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Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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