If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
