I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
