Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
