My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize