White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
