Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am available for nakedness
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
