I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize