Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
