There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
