Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize