For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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