Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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