can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
