I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
