Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
