i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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