You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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