Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize