on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
