Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
