I don't remember. Are we still dating?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
