When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
