never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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