Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
