Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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