These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
