he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
