I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
