It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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