That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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