I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
