I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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