We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
