So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
