just survived the first fart of the relationship.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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