Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
