There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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