The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
