is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
