The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
