Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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