literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
