Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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