Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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