would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.