I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
