i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
