I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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