is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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