I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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