between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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