I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
