highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
