she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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