There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
